I sometimes wonder who am I and what should I do in life? For some reasons, everytime I ask someone the same question, I keep getting a "just be yourself and you'll be fine" answer. How typical of them. The problem with me here, people, is that I don’t know where my real self is. But there's no way, I can tell them that. It'll be much too sad to be pitied by others and I'm sure, my pride wouldn't allow it.
The weather today reminds me of that very day. Black clouds can be seen overshadowing the vivid blue sky. One didn't have to be a meteorologist to figure that it'll rain soon.
I'm finally in my last year of high school. It seems so unreal that time passes by so fast. Who knows, maybe in the next 30 seconds, I might be needing hearing aids. It's the first day of school and things are starting to get, or in fact, already hectic. We were all instructed to line up according to our respective classes regardless of grades. I feel like I'm in kindergarten again. Hurray. Things got even better later. The principal gave us the usual "back to school" speech. I swear, everytime he opens his mouth I feel like shoving a size 12 boots up his ass. On a second thought, I'm playing the good girl today. So, I'll just let that slide for now.
Sitting in the middle of my new class, I recognize some piggish faces. Gorilla boy is still looking like a monkey and baldy, I see, is as bald as ever. Saying that I’m sick of seeing the same old faces is an exaggeration. I’m glad that some of my victims, I mean good friends are still in this school. Speaking of the devil, there’s the two of them now– Betty and Katie. I stood up and walked towards them. Though, I’m not really in the mood to talk to anyone today but what the heck. Mind you, that doesn’t mean I’m emo. I would prefer calling it a phase.
“Hey, guys. What’s up? I see, you guys are doing fine”, I said, smiling. Rather than just fine, you guys look like you’ve just won a lottery.
“Hi, Merry. How is it going?”, Katie replied, nonchalantly.
I wish they would just call me by my given name. Do I really look merry to you guys? It’s not like I particularly adore the name, Merewyn, but at least, it beats being called “Merry”. Mum loved Anya Seton’s Avalon, therefore, named me Merewyn, the protagonist of the book. Whatever possessed her to do that, I wonder.
Ring!!!
“There goes the bell. Shall we have lunch now? I’m famished”, I said, hungrily.
We’re now walking along the corridor towards the staircase. The walls had been painted green all over. As if the school isn’t green enough. It now looks more like a jungle instead of a place for educating idiots. Not like I care or anything because I’m definitely getting out of here next year.
We climbed down the stairs from the 4th floor because students are not allowed to use the elevator which I find it so damn ridiculous. The urge to shout, "All stairs should be burnt", came to me when I set foot on the bottom stair.
Damn. To think, the canteen is barely a few feet away. And, I already feel like I've been run over by a bulldozer. I guess, mummy was right after all, that kids like me are the reason why safe sex must be practiced. Ouch, I feel like I’ve just rubbed salt on my own wound.
Dear Betty, suddenly, decided to give me a nice whack on my head. I guess I don't or will never understand what's going on in that head of hers.
“ Must you do that? If you want something, just ask like a normal person.”, I said while frowning. Hit me another time and I’ll send you flying with the birds.
“ Look over there. At the far, right end, on the bench. Isn’t that guy hot or what?”, Betty said, excitedly without a hint of hiding it.
Even though, Betty’s face is like a chicken. Fortunately, her good taste in men makes up for it. Staring at the guy, I realize he does look rather attractive, from afar – and familiar.
Can someone tell me why everyone in this school are such gluttons? As usual, the canteen is crowded with a bunch of hungry ghosts. Trying to find seats is like trying to search for a grain of rice in the desert.
We were lucky to get ourselves some seats a couple of minutes later. I dropped my bag on the table and went to get myself some food. For once, I was not oblivious towards my surroundings. I noticed the canteen’s management has changed. Thank god, the queue isn’t that long either. I unzipped my wallet and pulled out a dollar and 20 cents, before reaching the cashier. Why? Because there’s always a numbskull behind me, who can’t even wait for a second or two. It’s finally my turn.
“I would like two curry puffs please.” I asked, politely.
“That will be a dollar and 20 cents”, the cashier said expressionlessly.
I accidentally dropped the 20 cents while handing it to the cashier. Goddammit, I must be having butter fingers today. The coin rolled slightly behind me. I bent down to grab the coin, but ended up, head-butting another person who bent down at the same time.
Ouch. That hurts like hell. Should I punch him in the face for picking it up or thank him for that? Now, looking up, I wished that the ground would just swallow me wholly.
“ S-Shane”, I stuttered.
“ Merewyn”, he said, unblinkingly and the 20 cents slipped from his fingers.
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