Sanity

What have I got to lose?
The answer is nothing.

Time have changed everything,
including myself,
For the better or worst,
I honestly can't tell.

As the years goes by,
I feel like I'm becoming someone else,
Part of me which makes me "me",
Is starting to fade away.

With a mask I don,
And a smile I wear,
I shunned my deepest thoughts,
In the darkness,
Where even the brightest of lights can never reach.

Lying seems like an easy way out,
And it is,
It has become my forte without my knowing of it.

Chains which ties me down,
continues to drag me deeper into the pit,
As I go deeper,
I start to lose part of myself.

Sooner or later,
I'm afraid,
I'll disappear without a trace.

Loneliness

Whenever Loneliness,
Knocks on my door,
I slam it to it's face.

I've been running away,
Deep down I know,
For I refused to see it,
And avoided it like a plague.

It affects me,
And I hate the feeling of it,

Peace,
Ah! I don't even mind,
If it trespasses my place.

Prince Charming?

Once upon a time,
I met a prince,
He was everything that I wasn't.

He was tall,
Fair-skinned,
And with brown tousled hair,
One can drown in his deep brown eyes.

I took everything into account.
His look,
His dressing
And everything about him,
I engraved it in my mind.

Love?
What is love?
Did I actually fall in love with him during that moment?
I'll never know.

We were acquainted then,
Through friends,
And we became friends ourselves.

How time always flies by whenever I was with him,
I enjoyed his company.
He made me feel different.

Fate,
I believed during that time,
Had brought us together.

We were seemingly two different people from the outside,
But upon knowing each other,
we had realized that we were alike on the inside.

An attraction was bound to happen sooner or later,
And it did,
A few months later,
We became lovers.

Those were days that I would always remember,
We spent time together,
we laughed,
we even cried.

Together,
we were like that for almost 6 months,
But the unexpected happened.

He left,
A message,
he also left behind,
It says, "Those time we had,
were the happiest of my life,
and I'm thankful to have met you,
but I'm going back to London.
Therefore, goodbye.
I pray for your happiness".

Just like the wind,
he disappeared out of my life,
Without a trace,
Leaving me behind.

Moving On

I'm afraid,
I really am,
The past is right behind me,
It follows and follows,
And I know that one day,
It'll destroy me.

Young as I was,
I was terrified,
I have no where to go,
But to seek my own shell.

A barrier was created,
But I'm still wandering,
Like a vagrant soldier.

To reach,
Is something out of my reach,
For I am a coward,
With a mask I wear,
I am no different,
From a masquerader.

My heart,
I realized now,
Was left behind,
From the moment I moved on.

Now and then

The swirl of confusion in my heart remains unchanged,
My two little feet are unable to guide me,
For they are unshaken,
Stuck,
And glued to the ground.

The thick fog in front of me disappeared,
when you appeared,
Time is my mortal enemy,
It has left me in a state of nothingness,
From day to night, night to day.

The once stationary globe,
Moved as before,
The same ol' perpetual spin I see,
I shan't ever forget.

How can I not noticed, that I had it all?
Now and then.

Change is not always a good thing

It's hard to admit one's fault, especially when it regards the sleeping habit of the person. In my case, I'm certainly aware that I had never been a morning person. Never was and never will. As a warning, it is always wiser to avoid me in the mornings, for I have the tendency to inflate my own ego [couldn't be bothered about others]. If I could change my sleeping habit, I wouldn't have to suffer from sleep deprivation anymore. I really should turn over a new leaf, and to try, to sleep earlier.

....Like hell, I will.

Lost

I'm lost in my own misery,
As one would get lost in a maze,
Life goes on as usual,
Leaving me behind instead,
What would it feel like?
To walk on the same road as everyone else.

Torrents of rain continues to pour,
Endless,
Continuously,
It soon envelops my entire being,
Washing away,
The last of my dry land.

Time

"I guess it’s about time I made a new blog. Had blogspot not turn it’s back towards me, I would have continued using it. Not literally but it did in a way because I couldn’t logged on anymore nor could I leave comments on other blogspots’. An error, I suppose. Though, I don’t know what had caused it and don’t even want to ponder over it."

Those were my initial thoughts. Today, I tried logging in once more, and it worked for me. Was I surprised? Yes. Talk about the weeks and months I had to wait before using it again. At least, it saves me the trouble of creating a new blog.

Either way, it’s been some time since I last updated my blog. Time really flies by. In a blink of an eye, I realized that I’m already in my second year of college.

Time I now know, should be appreciated as something precious, like a jewel. To be able to live like this, I believe, is a blessing. Every single second, minute and hour counts. Wishing for time to turn back or for the past to catch up, would never happen. If ‘regret’ were to envelop me, I’ll still continue to move forward. For I can see that the future is calling out to me.

I’m surprised that our schedule isn’t hectic this semester and I’m thankful for that.

To commemorate my 'blog's freedom', I think I’ll post something, in correlation to my title for today:

The past, the present and the future

I’m standing alone,
In the middle of my heart,
Freedom seems to have passed me,
For I am the past.

I know from here,
My morrow will ceased to exist,
Forevermore,
My time remains inert.

Enjoy and until next time.